Jacob Zuma the Zulu and dogs, the White Man’s Thing

Jacob Zuma in his call for the advancement of African culture has condemned the role of the dog in South Africa. He says it is a white thing to have a dog. He does not go so far as to say that they should be destroyed, but has caused an uproar as he dances his Zulu dances in traditional costume which is bloody impresssive I will have you know. Not the uproar, the dance. The Zulu can DANCE. Man, can he dance.

the loveable side of the boerbull

The thing about dogs in South Africa is that almost every white and several blacks have adopted the pets, except that they are not pets, they are guards. Every house has two of them, one for the front and one for the back and they are trained to make one hell of an uproar an kill anything that is unknown and tries to climb the fence. This is because of the endemic crime levels and break-ins. So buying a quartet of trained boerbulls is quite the thing. Nothing gets past them and four of them will tackle a lion. Gentle with children family and friends, uncompromisingly vicious with the unwashed. Very much like the SS.

now who is going to break into this car?

The pitbull is also popular as is the doberman and the alsatian. And always at least a pair of them constantly patrolling the perimeters of the estate.

I have a friend who runs a farm and in the light of three thousand farmers being murdered since “liberation”, has a trained team of Boerbulls. Renews them on a rotational basis. All newcomers to the farm have to personally be accepted by the dogs (Smelling) on the explicit order of my buddy. Its a kind of acceptance ritual. Then they will not be torn apart when they visit. Maybe. I have never been comfortable with them even though they adore me because I give them biltong.

the last thing you would probably see after jumping that fence

So the dog theme thing is definitely not about taking twinkletoes for her little morning walk with manicures and hairdos on fridays. Its about protection. Jakob will simply have to live with that. They are better than an MP-5 an Ak-47 and a glock 9mm, not to mention a landmine, although having them as well in  certain areas is a good idea. Throw in a few RPG’s for good measure. Let him concentrate on killing miners.

Welcome to sunny South Africa. The Rainbow state.

©Howard Gamble
28.12.2012

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