Witchdoctors in the Premiere League!

So what do you write about when the tremendous Christmas hype is over, the divorce proceedings are well underway and the world is falling apart at a rate that makes just about anything seem a total waste of fucking time? Sport. Thats what. Its sport that has stopped all social development in England and America to a lesser extent so lets write about that shall we?

To be more specific, soccer, as she is played in the Premiere League on the British Isles.And to be even more specific, the fortunes of Liverpoool football club, which have improved immmensely since Mssrs Henry and Dalglish took over. It’s just that they still cannot get that little ball into the opponents net. They totally dominate games and come away with a single point. Miracles of keeping and defence occur to achieve that along with referees every now and again. Blackburn are still in a daze, not knowing how thay managed it at Anfield.

How could he possibly afford that hairdo without substantial backing?

I suspect Witchdoctors. I suspect that several clubs have pitched in and hired some really potent witchdoctor from bongo-bongoland so that he only has one customer, them, and his sole object in life as they enrich him, is to keep the ball out of the net of Liverpools opponents. There cannot be any other explaination as Holmes would say, having eliminated all the other possibilities.

So what I am going to do is make little wax figures of all the OTHER keepers in the league, dress them in their colours and get to work with a really solid knitting needle on match day. Thats what I am going to do. Mutu against Mutu. Only way to go from now on. Fight Mojo with Mojo.
©Howard Gamble
27th December 2011

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